Ten Myths about Twin Flames that need to Go Away Immediately

Dr. L. Xochitl Vallejos
4 min readDec 6, 2018

--

Like…yesterday.

1. Every Twin Flame is meant to come together in union

This is a common belief and many times, people who challenge this notion are told they are “not real twins” or don’t understand the journey. This myth is pervasive for a lot of reasons but at the core, it’s about fear of letting go. Accepting that not all twins are contracted to come together in union means that the person might have to let go and face any rejection, abandonment or other fears that come up as a result.

2. There is no free will when it comes to TF’s

There is always free will, but many people believe that when it comes to TF connections, the Universe will intervene and change the course of people’s lives. While there is often divine intervention that comes to help people get on their path, Spirit will never force someone to do something against their will. If someone doesn’t want to do the TF work, they can choose not to and that is their divine right.

3. You can’t screw up a TF connection

Yes, you can. We bring all of our human issues to all of our relationships and just because you’re TF’s doesn’t mean that your baggage can’t have an impact. Being twins doesn’t magically make you exempt to human issues and concerns. If people haven’t healed their stuff, they can cause each other a lot of pain and sometimes, that pain can cause people to walk away in this lifetime. On a soul level, you’ll always stay connected but that doesn’t always compute to this lived human reality.

4. You can magnetize your TF

This is an idea sold by a lot of ̶ ̶s̶n̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶o̶i̶l̶ ̶s̶a̶l̶e̶s̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ coaches and they often use this idea to make a ton of money on hopeful souls. Meeting your TF is up to divine timing, and most people meet at a time when it is inconvenient. Magnetizing a twin flame is not something you can do — you can prepare and do the inner work to heal and transform your life but that is no guarantee you’ll bring in a Twin Flame connection.

How I look when I see “coaches” selling these types of programs

5. You can’t move on from a TF connection

Once again, yes you can. Will you always love this person and hold a special place in your heart? Absolutely. Do you always have to long for them and pine away? Nope. You can move on with your life, and even into different love connections and find happiness without your twin. Thinking otherwise is a way of staying stuck and attached, which only serves as a repellent to your TF. Never, ever, ever wait for a TF to come back.

6. There are clearings or healings that will shortcut your Union

Nope, no way, not possible. That would be like saying you can workout once and change your health forever. It doesn’t work that way — the purpose of the TF journey is wholeness, healing and integration, which means it’s a PROCESS. You have to do the work, and no healer can do it for you. Just like a personal trainer can show you what to do, it’s ultimately up to you to pick up the weights.

7. The goal is Union

The goal is WHOLENESS within. Part of this journey is about getting to the mystical marriage, which is when you come into union within yourself. This is “shekinah”, the Hebrew word that translates to “nothing missing, nothing broken”. When you reach that state, you will be whole within and won’t need the external representation of your TF. That’s not to say you won’t welcome them back if they return, but you’ll no longer need them.

8. Your TF will automatically know what you need

Even if you have telepathic communication, they can’t always read your mind. There is this romantic notion that twin flames will be perfect fits and will never have to do things like…communicate properly. Then, when issues come up (and they will), people freak out and think that it must mean they aren’t really twins so they call it a false twin and are off looking for the next.

Even Twin Flames have to communicate

9. Unconditional love means you should accept anything

Hell to the no on this one. Here’s the thing — unconditional love is the goal…and our first step is to learn how to unconditionally love ourselves. If you find yourself making excuses for shitty behavior because someone is your TF and you think it’s unconditional, you’re mistaken. Unconditional love does not mean unconditional relationship. Tolerating or accepting abuse doesn’t make you more loving — and it doesn’t help anyone in the connection to grow.

10. There are “experts” who can confirm/deny TF connections

Save your money. No one can confirm or deny connections outside of the person having it. This is only something you can know and no one else can tell this truth to you. This is a deeply personal experience, and a lot of people have been really hurt by someone giving them false or misleading information.

--

--